Chapter 48 Cleared & Crowned …dear diary

Total Praise & Answered Prayers

As I listen to Total Praise by Sunday Service Choir, I can’t help but reflect on my life.

Tonight, I woke up out of my sleep, looked around, picked up my phone, and saw the time

3:18 AM.

No coincidences.

That’s my birthdate.

I spent three hours praying… writing my prayers, journaling over my son’s life, covering him in the presence of God.

As I got in the shower, Total Praise played, and in that moment, I reflected on my journey. I realized I am already living in the version of an answered prayer. It may not look exactly how I once envisioned, but it is still my answered prayer.

I used to wish for certain things, thinking they had to come in a grand, luxurious way

BUT God has provided them in ways I never expected:

I always had luxury cars, but after turning in my Range Rover (which barely had 10K miles after almost three years), I wished for someone to drive me and now, even without a car, I am driven everywhere I need to go.

I hate cooking, and now I have chef-prepared meals delivered to my home.

I don’t like to clean, and now I have a housekeeper.

God answered my prayers in ways that fit my life, my season, my level. The things I once thought had to look a certain way, He has provided in His way, in His timing, in a way that still honors my desires.

I have my health. My family is well. My father, who will be 80 this year, is here and a blessing to me and my son.

And through it all, I remember my dear Brittine Harper (Podcast Season 2 Episode 4) and how she spoke about her daughter’s passing… how God knew that day was coming just like He knew my Mother’s death day was coming.

What I didn’t know was that losing my mother would push me so far over the edge that I would have nothing to lean on but Him.

What saved me? It wasn’t verbally saying I accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior and being baptized years ago - it was Dorothy Liddell-Banks. Her soul brought me to Christ.

And when I got to the point of leaning only on Him, I finally realized…

I never needed anything else to begin with.

All I need is to be a good human, put God first, repent cause he still working on me IYKYK and release my human attachments… to love the people in my life deeply, but not make them my God.

And now, I can confidently say:

I am ready to inherit the land.

Cleared & Crowned,

Tikisha

Prayer of Gratitude & Surrender

Heavenly Father,

Before I ask for anything, I come before You in repentance. Forgive me for the times I have overlooked Your blessings, for the moments I have allowed worry to cloud my faith, and for any way I have placed my desires above Your will. Wash me clean, renew my heart, and align my spirit with Yours.

Lord, today I pause to recognize that I am already living in the version of an answered prayer. It may not look the way I once imagined, but Your provision has never failed me. You have kept me, sustained me, and blessed me in ways I didn’t even realize were blessings.

Your Word says in Psalm 37:25, “I have been young, and now am old; yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.” Lord, I thank You that I am not forsaken. Even in uncertainty, You have made a way. Even when I lacked understanding, You were working things out for my good.

Thank You for the simple yet powerful ways You show up in my life:

The strength to wake up each day

The health in my body

The protection over my family

The provision that meets my needs

The unexpected ways You answer prayers

Lord, help me to release attachment to how I think things should look and trust that what You are doing is far greater than what I could ever imagine. Isaiah 55:8-9 reminds me that Your thoughts are higher than my thoughts, and Your ways are higher than my ways.

I surrender my timeline, my expectations, and my worries to You. I trust that You are guiding me exactly where I need to be. I will no longer overlook the blessings I once prayed for I will embrace them with gratitude.

I seal this prayer in faith, believing that what You have for me is already done, in Jesus’ mighty name.

Amen.