Chapter 48 Gliding ...dear diary

The wolf wears the sheep's clothing because it's afraid to look in the mirror it knows the mirror will offer one thing - reflection. When you really take the time to look in the mirror and truly see yourself, naked - are you accepting of what you see?

Layers

Peeling layers

Aren't we all just wolves in sheep's clothing?

plant based, meat eaters

serenity, hostility

introvert, extrovert

vulnerable, resilient

all rolled up into one

becoming one, love

love of self, the good & the evil

the balancing act, standing strong

It was at this exact moment I knew I was getting a redo. I don't know how I felt about it. I mean let's be clear

I think of Megan Thee Stallion lyrics "bitches would die to be me"

Have you ever said that before? OMG, I'd die to be her. I wonder how many times we've shorten our life span saying shit like that... I would die for that, what would I do for that, I'd... or how they get that, why don't I have that

I'd die to be her I whispered softly

it's no longer comparison, it's an idol, worship

How many times have you said you'd die to be the Most High God?

but still how do I feel about that... how do I feel about leaving my hopes and dreams behind, how do I feel about my path the one I prayed for just this morning opening up and leading me on a brand new journey?

How do you really feel I ask myself?!? I flip open my bible Proverbs 3 - on your own understanding rely not, in all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths

I asked for signs and synchronicities. What I didn't ask for was how to understand the signs and synchronicities... what the fuck, genius. This is why you get all of these signs and "angel numbers" "repeated numbers" whatever you want to call it them... what do they mean? All things work together - all things - doesn't matter what you call it, it's working for... you, the called

Affirm: I can have whatever I want and receive it with ease and joy.

Today June 21, 2024

It's okay, whatever they call you it's okay because you weren't raised knowing about your ancestral history so you did whatever you had to do to channel in your ancestors, my mother, to learn how to live applying what they have learned to present day to not only strengthen the bloodline but to lengthen the bloodline... Wisdom.

So I decided to look into everything and I kinda meant everything.. The Book of Mormon and The Holy Qur'an arrived today. I think of my ignorance the day I misspelled Qur'an... am I even pronouncing it correctly. I think of my days at this one company... the lady called in and she called me "Tick-A-Shay" my named is spelled Tikisha. I sing my name on the podcast and sing it as I spell it... it makes me think of my mother, a quick glimpse of an incomplete memory.

I wonder if that's what the skeletons in the closet were... that are now dust... smoke...

incomplete memories

My method of connection - oracle.

I didn't choose it, it chose me. I just did it... have you ever just done something? the urge and you don't know why? a desire that just magically appears?

The dog is looking... growling... alerting.

Another thing that chose me, animals & symbolism.

I found out what my universal love language is... how God uses the universe to speak to me.

Daily Rituals Oracle: Joyfulness (Today I base in the energy of joy).

Sun, Full Moon

Daisies, Yellow, Clown, Makeup

I sit outside in the grass. I look at the insects hoover over the daisies or maybe those were weeds I don't know... the birds come to the bird feeder... the groundhog peaks his head out, it's too many bushes well correction vines that I can't see if anything else is lurking back there because one thing about Mabel she's going to blend in with whoever wherever she's at... she's a shape shifter. Be warned.

I tell myself it's okay. You don't have to have everything figured, because time while it's not real it's also flying by... I scratch my leg and think what does that mean...

here I go I want every single thing that happens to be a sign...

so I flip some cards let's see cause I mean I ain't doing shit else

and this is my universal love language, how I see

This is how I see the path. The oracle is my GPS. It reveals to me which way to go... it isn't always clear or in that exact order but

The cards never lie. Humans lie. Who do you trust?

While the cards may never lie, is your path straight or crooked? Humans lie.

The cards represent you, deciphering what side of you is where it may get tricky

Affirm: I can have whatever I want and receive it with ease and joy.

me about me, no harm done ...I often wonder why are people so bothered about what other people do versus what they are doing... if a soul isn't "saved" what are you going to do get "more saved" because you judged them for what they were doing - get more saved if you convert them over to what you believe, get "less saved" - or you tried to show them the way but you're mad because they don't see "the way", your way... I don't get it, but I do because hurt people hurt people... I mean no disrespect at all cause seriously I ask why can't we all just get along and I think... what is this "saved" we're aiming for... How does it look to you?

Saved from what? from who? from where?

healed people heal people

then there is me healing, a bit of both hurting & healing and sometimes not knowing who I'm doing what too ...I take time off... am I healing or hurting

no appointments available

case by case

Power Line, Energy - first and foremost protect your energy at all cost, what is energy... it's what you feel... if something feels off, uncomfortable, easy - TRUST and act ...I am learning to act a lot slower. I don't even drive as fast as I used too ... no road rage... just coasting... floating...

I hear zippy

but let me tell you one thing about acting slow doesn't meant you're slow... and how do you define slow... shit sounds like another damn slur to me... we have to choose our words wisely when we speak over ourselves and others because words have power and ...do you know your kwh?

June 2023 395

July 2024 455

Powerlines. Embrace Bougie. PoweHERful. 523

Water, Surrender but it's upside down - a fish in a big pond, feeling like I'm drowning, feeling like I'm unbothered, relaxed, the smoke is gone

I surrender, I say softly

I surrender to the divine, to me that's my entire spiritual team beginning and ending just like I start my days with the Most High, remember the Sabbath to keep it holy, I end my days with The Most High

Palm, Destiny - shower, steamy, hands on the glass door, rich sex, can you stand the rain, moisture, rain, bubbles, rainbows fingerprints, your identity

I hear it's in the palm of your hands

peace, harmony, reds, oranges, fire, green

chakras - root, sacral, solar plexus, heart

crayons, coloring, primary colors

Psalms 84 ...sparrow finds a home

He said it reveals you, pay attention to his character

or was it he reveals himself to you

or was it it reveals you, he is equal to a mirror

what I thought were his issues were actually mine

I was looking at him but what I saw was me

this is why I saw them so clearly

I was looking the mirror

The red door is going to go upside down. A fresh start. Summer Rain.

I'm pushing the daisies up... nurturing it, the anchor, offering stability. I have strong boundaries, but one thing about a white picket fence something could slip through the cracks... I wonder... then I get a feather, a message... the evil eye, protected

May 22 life path consultation ...picture of a feather, I see peacock

June 21 feather on my steps ...summer equinox, strawberry moon

The full moon.

Released.

111

When I said I was going to abandon you I should have used my words better it wasn't abandon because I didn't plan on leaving you but I may not always be in the capacity that you need me to be sometimes I'm simply going to be elsewhere but that doesn't me that I abandoned you I'm just simply not there right then but you know who's always there? The Most High God so talk to him, express your needs... asking for healing for the entire circle.

Sisterhood. Brotherhood.

Black Love.

Unity.

Joy comes in the mourning.

and since you don't know how to pray, his words now mines (not sure who his is)

Matthew, Matthew 6:9-13

let's wake up renewed, it's time for a redo

jot your thoughts down

I can never miss a loss

...so tell, what is it you need?

I pray for you. I cover you. I thank you, you made me hustle

-Future lyrics, kinda

Truth is I want somebody who loves me more than anything else, but why would I want that do I not love myself enough... I know I want him to love The Most High God, the divine, the universe, his family which includes his children if he has children and his friends not me just me... check yourself... check yourself... check yourself... more than anything... I want him to love me wholeheartedly and protect me but I don't want him to love me more than anything... fear

When you don't believe the love you want, the unconditional love that you believe doesn't exist, when you don't believe the love you want exists

Affirm: I can have everything I want and receive it with ease and joy.

the way I'm so into you

I didn't know you I'd find you

so I asked... lovers then and lovers now ...but who are "you"

I was scared, until I moved a little be slower... I relaxed my mind. I practiced gratitude. I found joy in the little things, being able to take a deep breath, lungs

We would tell my mother she smoked too much, lungs

but it was her kidneys that were weak

I motion to get the book, see what Louise has to say but I can't... I'm not ready or maybe she's not ready... she will tell me her story when she is ready... the soul never dies... I will never let me mother die... she is me, she is within me

I believe it's DNA

...when you despise your DNA, hurt people hurt people

but what I knew is the pain I felt from the last obstacle, my path not going straight

the hurt, I couldn't stop thinking about it, energy

I don't want that again... I silence my mind to hear directly from The Most High on how I should live my life

Again, I ask how does God talk to you?

If we are standing on what we believe to be his word - words written and translated by others - how is the standing going?

Are you the fool?

I am the fool, it's a new chapter but the same 48. I'm always me, I am just evolving. The things I used to do I find no joy in doing... I'm standing, balancing... you see you say that's a fool right there but the fool

acting a fool

doing what the hell he wants

We've said it or heard it - that boy a fool. Laughter.

I can't remember sobbing after saying something or someone was a fool... maybe concern, maybe even a bit of envy, watching them embrace their youth

Youth, the ability to be adventurous - starting new... Converse

I left them down but I lifted me up... that's what they are going to say but they are thinking I let them down... maybe I did my in my mama voice "irregardless" my cup is still full in the midst of the rain. Truth is learned when you stand up in the storm your cup is actually filling up, the storm well it's sorta like fuel... staying focused on the cup being half full you'll keep looking, hoping, praying, trusting, changing, you'll see little by little this big ass storm is a rain shower and you're cup well it's' getting fuller and fuller, quicker and quicker, and then you see it.. rescued

In the nick of time

I took my chains off... rubbed my neck. It felt weighed down.

I think of my ancestors.

I think of bdsm, well... I think of the author, Alexandria House.

It read make today your new beginning. Try to leave any past mistakes in the past, don't allow them to weigh you down any longer. Move Forward today with the confidence and knowing that you have better and brighter days ahead. Focus your mindset on what you can control, instead of what you can't. The world is your oyster. Elevate your thought pattern so that you can attract abundance into your life. You are what you believe. -Spirit Messages Oracle cards

I get a text, I tell myself sometimes in life you have to learn lessons. The hardest lessons are the ones you didn't see coming...

What is it that you want to do but you are not doing it?

wolves in sheep clothing ...maybe it's just trying to shed to become its true self

I heard from somewhere I cannot remember... there are 3 choices

yes no middle ground (I renamed middle ground as scarcity, you're aware you're just scared of what you want to do for whatever reason, I personally think it stems from fear)

the worst choice of all is "I have no choice" why did you say that what is it in you that you need to heal, what is it in you that made you feel like you needed to hold on a little letter because you didn't have a choice

I hear stuck, why are you sitting in the bottle doing nothing... the other day it was a spider on the counter I put a glass on top of it with the idea of getting a paper towel to capture it and take it outside... it died. I didn't see that coming... I suffocated the spider. It is so much stuff that I don't think is a thing that really is a thing, I think of how childish my own mind is in certain air...area… childish or inexperienced, inexperienced.

words have power, gain experience

It's been so many times in my own life that I felt suffocated but what saved my life - learning how to communicate with the Holy Spirit... benevolent spirits, my ancestors.

I remember her saying you have a choice and I was offended, I didn't have a choice

but

I did

there is always a choice

I chose life.

My tattoo reads I am made entirely of flaws stitched together with good intentions.

Tikisha established 1976

bees and honey, sting but you love the taste of me

; because my story needs to be told so it's goes on

sword thru my rib, but only a drop of blood

the blood of my ancestors grew this land, the trees ...crucifix to slavery

how can I not struggle, fucklove ...they did everything to tear us apart

I still cannot believe slavery was a real thing, and it wasn't that long ago as I can hear my father's voice speak of his great grandfather.

Fears of history repeating itself, modern day

roots, growing, stronger and stronger, bones, nurtured, watered,

Bloom

I hear myself, believe it to see it. TRUST.

I am sitting outside in the rain I know my neighbor thinks I'm crazy so I pretend I don't see him going in his door once he's inside and closes his door I decide to open the garage door and sit halfway in the rain and halfway out why am I hiding myself I wonder but I do it anyway and I see the sun coming out of the sky while it's raining and I wondered what is this called again so I know it's something with the devil so I think it's time to phone friends

I pulled the devil called this morning

I guess he's beating his wife because I set myself free

12:21am

The roku screensaver is on and I see a dragon. What is the symbolism of a dragon?

Psalms 91

The dancer offers movement at the waxing gibbous moon.

Momentum.

This summer everything is being unveiled.

Truths. Positivity. Wow moments...

I am freeing, walking forward

express yourself through movement

the fire could see what was coming

the sun's fire fire burned me while I tried to protect it and the bull stood in the middle

head held high hidden in the night's light

both the sun and the moon together

the fire could see but I

I didn't need to see I was guided. Gliding.

I leave you with these thoughts... let go of whatever you indulge in the most, it's holding you back

What is your distraction? it's like no matter how much of it you get it's not enough, gluttony

sleepless night, the words going in your ears, you can't even sleep, who is to believe

you, you believe you use your intuition

I truly believe we all have the gift of discernment

butterflies, tote bag, paint, blue, evil eye

I see 2 black birds. I remember reading this was for a girl.

Sleepless.

The grind, working, minding my business... feeling really blessed. Music, really enjoying the music... things are still looking bleak but I know there are always new opportunities in the midst of a rejection...

I see Arizona, maybe it's Nevada. It's a cactus, outside of a window. Red. Hot. Partly Cloudy.

You know... you knoooowwwwww.... they are going to judge, but what do you care?

While it looks like a fool to them, it's really a new beginning. The Fool. Freedom. It may look life jumping off a cliff to some, but I have what they don't... the sun and the moon.

Flowers. Tuxedo. Pug, wait maybe it's a bulldog. No fear.

The trail of the cat food. I see her name.

It's time to clean up.

I see leaves, maybe it's fall. .maybe it's time to let some things go - to the trash.

Follow the spark.

Wish on a star.

I see a snake plant. The color beige.

I colored today... I used a beige maybe it was more of an orange looking color on Nas.

Nas, Kelis was right... tasty.

New Your City (typo, York)

What Nas say Abracadabra

Abra muthafuckin cadabra

Let's go....